Two of a kind

Hello Citizens,

I'm a poker player. I enjoy it. But there is only one thing, one sure thing, that I would bet on. That is, that someone who I catch doing something wrong will blame someone else or feel their misbehavior is somehow justified. Two days, two impounds, two cases in point.

Case 1: Yesterday I caught a pickup truck in the 8 o'clock sweeper zone. The vehicle came up as towable in my cite writer. That means it had five or more unpaid tickets (not necessarily parking tickets). The windows were down so I knew the person was around somewhere and would probably come out as we (I called a colleague over on my radio to assist) were trying to get the vehicle impounded. Sure enough, out he came and immediately started in on us. He knew he owed about fifteen hundred dollars in tickets (really!?!), and so he did. He complained about this and that and then he said something really dumb. He thought that since he'd never be able to get his car out of the impound yard (probably not) and the city was going to sell it, that they should take the fifteen hundred they'd get for it (probably not) and put that money towards his tickets! My colleague and I shook our heads in complete disbelief. There are many things wrong with this ass-ertion. First, the city doesn't auction off the cars, the impound yard does so, they would get the money not the city. Second, I don't think that they or the city would then be interested in paying off the tickets of this bozo who racked them up in the first place. Amazing. We laughed about this one over lunch later on.
Case 2: Today I called for another impound, this time the owners only owed $640 or so in late ticket fees. (Why, oh why don't they just pay them as they get them?) Again the windows were down (it's been hot here), so again I called a colleague over (a different one this time) and we waited for the tow truck to arrive. Anyway, the young lady came out of the house seemingly resigned to the fact that we were going to take the car. She called her husband who, she said, was to blame for all this (Of course! I'm married too. I understand.) and he gave her some bad advice which fortunately she didn't follow (Drive away! Drive away! She couldn't. She had two youngsters in the house). So, she looked at me and said, "Well, it must be God's Will." God's Will? Did He not pay your tickets? Really? Really?!? Then if it's God's Will, hey, I must be a Messenger of God which, if I'm understanding all this kind of stuff correctly, makes me an Angel. Ha! I've been called a lot of things on this job but never an Angel. I wonder if I can get one of those Angel stickers to put in my city vehicle window. Here I come, straight from God! So pay your goddamn tickets! Okay?

Some of them still won't. You can bet on that.

And I bid you all a heavenly ten-seven.