Yeah, that's the ticket.

Let's talk about parking tickets, shall we?

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Two of a kind

Hello Citizens,

I'm a poker player. I enjoy it. But there is only one thing, one sure thing, that I would bet on. That is, that someone who I catch doing something wrong will blame someone else or feel their misbehavior is somehow justified. Two days, two impounds, two cases in point.

Case 1: Yesterday I caught a pickup truck in the 8 o'clock sweeper zone. The vehicle came up as towable in my cite writer. That means it had five or more unpaid tickets (not necessarily parking tickets). The windows were down so I knew the person was around somewhere and would probably come out as we (I called a colleague over on my radio to assist) were trying to get the vehicle impounded. Sure enough, out he came and immediately started in on us. He knew he owed about fifteen hundred dollars in tickets (really!?!), and so he did. He complained about this and that and then he said something really dumb. He thought that since he'd never be able to get his car out of the impound yard (probably not) and the city was going to sell it, that they should take the fifteen hundred they'd get for it (probably not) and put that money towards his tickets! My colleague and I shook our heads in complete disbelief. There are many things wrong with this ass-ertion. First, the city doesn't auction off the cars, the impound yard does so, they would get the money not the city. Second, I don't think that they or the city would then be interested in paying off the tickets of this bozo who racked them up in the first place. Amazing. We laughed about this one over lunch later on.
Case 2: Today I called for another impound, this time the owners only owed $640 or so in late ticket fees. (Why, oh why don't they just pay them as they get them?) Again the windows were down (it's been hot here), so again I called a colleague over (a different one this time) and we waited for the tow truck to arrive. Anyway, the young lady came out of the house seemingly resigned to the fact that we were going to take the car. She called her husband who, she said, was to blame for all this (Of course! I'm married too. I understand.) and he gave her some bad advice which fortunately she didn't follow (Drive away! Drive away! She couldn't. She had two youngsters in the house). So, she looked at me and said, "Well, it must be God's Will." God's Will? Did He not pay your tickets? Really? Really?!? Then if it's God's Will, hey, I must be a Messenger of God which, if I'm understanding all this kind of stuff correctly, makes me an Angel. Ha! I've been called a lot of things on this job but never an Angel. I wonder if I can get one of those Angel stickers to put in my city vehicle window. Here I come, straight from God! So pay your goddamn tickets! Okay?

Some of them still won't. You can bet on that.

And I bid you all a heavenly ten-seven.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

People people people

Okay, well just one guy really. But he is indicative of the people people people of the title of this post.

Here's what happened. I am doing my 10 o'clock sweeper route (sweeper truck goes by, cleans the street, we come along and cite those who haven't moved their vehicles. Very simple). It's a quarter past 10 and I get out of my city vehicle to cite a pickup truck that the sweeper just went around. You could still see the big wet arc it made on the street around the pickup. I'm writing the ticket on my electronic cite writer when a young guy, maybe around 20 years old, comes out of this house wearing just a bathrobe. The following is an approximation of what was said:

HIM: Are you going to write me a ticket?
ME: Yep.
HIM: Oh come on. I'm ten minutes late. My alarm didn't go off. Really?
ME: You're fifteen minutes late and the sweeper went around you.
HIM: I'm going to call the newspapers. I'm sure they'd love this story. Guy gives guy a ticket who didn't make it out of bed on time. (Did he actually think I'd be intimidated by this?)
ME: You're going to call the newspaper to tell them how irresponsible you were? I don't think they'll go for it. Look sir, you're past the time on the sign and the sweeper went around you.
HIM: Look at me! (At this point he opens his bathrobe. I quickly turn away but not before noticing that he is indeed wearing shorts. Thank heaven) I just woke up!
ME: Sorry sir. (I start walking back toward my vehicle)
HIM: Well, have fun killing puppies today.

Now, when he said this I had to laugh. Out loud. It's a good thing I wasn't facing him or I would have laughed right in his face.

ME: It's not like that, sir. Why, I haven't killed a puppy in years. (I didn't really say that last part but I sure wanted to)

Now I'm back in my vehicle and I watch as he takes the keys out of his robe pocket (I guess he sleeps with them in there) and move the pickup across the street. I'm off to my next violator, laughing the whole way. I mean, to equate what I do with puppy-killing is pretty out there. It's just another example of a person who can't take responsibility for their own actions or the lack thereof. People people people.