A Quick Story

I just wanted to get this one down while it's still relatively fresh in my mind. I had found a vehicle parked on the street with it's tags expired over six months. This is a no-no which can result in the vehicle being towed away at that moment. I wrote the citation and began doing the impound paperwork. The young woman who owned the vehicle came out of the guest house behind the house across the street. She pleaded with me not to take her car away and since it was close to Christmas I decided to merely give her a warning (she already had the ticket which she would need to take care of anyway). I told her I'd let her put the car on private property until she could get the registration squared away.

Meanwhile, her landlord appeared and had to move his car out of the driveway in order for her to put hers there. He immediately put his on his front lawn! Now, understand that there was yet a third vehicle in the driveway so there just wasn't room for all of them, but there was plenty of room on the street! I went over and politely told him that parking on the lawn was also illegal and someone might complain about it.

Well, he suddenly turned all self-righteous. "I've lived here for thirty years," he sneered, "and I know all my neighbors. No one will complain. And I also know all the cops in this town." "So?," I asked. "If you cite me I'll just say I was washing it." "And I'll tell them what you just told me." "Ha!," he continued, "I'll take you to court (I know all the judges too) and they'll throw this ticket out and you'll lose your job!" Wow, actual male chest-thumping. Cool.

I knew I wouldn't lose my job, not over a thing like this. I was, of course, laughing inside. For some reason, this man's bizarre self-righteousness was so funny I just couldn't get angry. His logic was crazy. I wondered if he could walk into a bank, rob it and use the same I-know-all-the-cops-in-this-town line and get away with it. If he could, hell, I'd partner up with him. I could really use the extra money.

"Sir," I continued, "I gave the young lady a break and now I'm giving you one. I'm giving you fair warning. I have other things to do right now but when I come back a little later, if your vehicle is still on the lawn, I'm going to cite it. Bye!"

I left while he was still protesting. When I got back there a half-hour later, the vehicle was on the street. I really didn't expect that but was glad. All in all, one of the more humorous exchanges I've had on this job.